Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize