Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
