Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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