sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
