she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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