He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
