I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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