I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
