she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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