peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
