Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
