I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
