My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
