And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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