i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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