You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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