All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
