is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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