I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
