i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
