Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
