The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
