He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
