All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
