Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
