Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
