CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
