At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
