toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
