she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
