i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
