lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
