come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
