The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
