How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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