First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
