I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
