We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
