We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
