i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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