I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
