I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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