What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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