is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
