I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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