Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
