he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
