the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
