I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
