Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
