why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize