I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
where am i from again
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
