Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
