I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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