Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
