nut hugger
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
