Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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