Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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