I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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