During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i need some magic done to my vagina
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
