I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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