Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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