Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
